to my wife

I’ve heard comments from people over the past year in relation to my wife (myself included) that underrate the often grueling task she undertakes being a mother.

Things like “It must be nice to sleep in and not have to go to work.”

Like “It must be nice to be able to run your own schedule.”

My girl doesn’t really get to “go home” from work. Work is 24 hours a day. That seems like 48 hours sometimes, especially when you have a teething baby that wakes up every 5 minutes. Or just howls all night.

Her schedule isn’t her own. There are two little people that need her to watch them, feed them, clothe them (or try to keep them from changing 200 times a day) and teach them counting, discipline, alphabet, and manners.

So this is a shout out to you, my tired, sometimes discouraged, wondering if she does a good enough job – wife, and lover. From my perspective – you are perfect. Maybe there’s a bit of rose colour in my glasses, but it’s not going anywhere.

I’m proud of you and all that you do every single day, 24 hours on repeat.

I’m here with you

Humanity is in no state to be proud of. The same century old problems still plague Adam’s race as did a thousand, two thousand years ago.

People still quarrel. They still hate. They still murder and rape. Humans still discriminate with the best of them.

And despite evolving technology, the human has not evolved along with it.

Besides the facts of human hate and gratuitous evil – there is the struggle with the natural pain that takes place in our world. Recently a friend of mine from childhood was killed in a car accident. Another young friend discovered a disease that will alter their life. Yet another has a rare form of cancer.

Tragedy and physical suffering aside, there are those who believe doctrine that is erroneous and leads to a false view of self and God. This view leads to hurtful accusations and arguments.

But enough of all the pain this world has to offer. I’m certain we could fill volumes with all the evil.

As I was driving home the other night from my parents and feeling the weight of it all, it seemed hard to just cast my cares on God. I didn’t want to, really.

I felt alone. Scared. Like crying, and like being overwhelmed.

Then I looked over at her. She looked scared too. Frail. Human. We had been talking about it all together.

As I watched her silently, I was overcome by a sense of comradeship. We didn’t have the answers. We didn’t know the future. But we were in it together. We were frail and scared together. We were inadequate together.

We could do this journey together.

“I’m here with you,” I said.

And together we could cast our fears, sadness, and worries on Him.

No matter what happens, we have Him.

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Think

How many times in the last week have you thought about “why?”

Why you are doing the things you are doing?

Have you somehow settled into a path that you really don’t want to go in?

What are you doing today that is going to make you a different person tomorrow? A better person? A more inspiring person?

Think.

Then do it.

Change can happen.

unaccomplished

sometimes I get so stressed by the sheer amount of things to accomplish.

things to get done.

things to do.

projects that I dream of.

 

last night I hit the bottom though. I was almost falling asleep multiple times throughout the day.

3 hours of sleep a night for a week will do that to you.

You start getting grumpy. Then you’re downright grouchy.

After that, it’s a dog’s breakfast.

The world goes black, and you begin cursing the day you were born.

Ok. Not quite. I’m exaggerating.

But it got me to thinking.

What is life really about?

Is it really about making bigger salaries, getting more education, longer titles, and bigger bank accounts? Those typically are the things that we strive to achieve; and sleep and family time typically takes second row.

Life is not, at the bottom line, about more money, better job titles, and educational prestige.

If life is about these things, we can often lose perspective on what life should really be about, and the grayness of our world slows the pulse of our soul.

Life is about stopping long enough each day to be quiet.

Not stopping is like putting off stopping for another day. Like putting off work that should be done today until tomorrow.

It begins to pile up.

Stop pursuing the future, and balance it with what is the present.

It’s one of the hardest lessons in life for me to learn.

I want to be so much further ahead of where I am; but if I push myself beyond what I am able, it won’t just be my health that suffers.

What is life about to you? Does it include slowing down long enough to make a dish of food that will nourish your body and soul? Does it include stopping on the bridge to look at the beauty nature holds for us? Does it include taking the time to watch your little baby turn into a little girl? Does it take the time to stop and just get lost in a really good book with a good cup of chai?

Life is not all about accomplishment. It is not always about achievement.

Life is often about the opposites.

The little things. The unpretentious things.

What is life all about to you? What are you chasing? Is it worth spending your life pursuing?

Small Moments of Perspective

One step at a time. That’s how I make it up. I don’t think about how far I still have to go – just put one foot in front of the other…

Most mornings over the past year have found me huffing and puffing my way up the long flight of 210 stairs over by the MacDonald Hotel.

About halfway up, there is a small landing that provides you with the opportunity to stop and catch your breath; maybe even turn around and catch a view of the morning sun rising over the river valley. It’s beautiful.

I had originally thought that the stairs would eventually become easy to climb, and I wouldn’t have to dread the long climb every morning.

While it has become easier (and I usually don’t stop on the landing but for a brief glance at the scene behind me) I still find the climb to be a definite task.

A few mornings ago, I found myself halfway up the stairs, matched step for step by an older gentleman, also obviously on his way to work.

I had seen him the previous day, and wondered if he had just started walking, or whether I had simply never run into him before.

For ten long seconds, we marched up those steps, side by side, in unison. It began to feel a bit awkward, being so close to a total stranger in a restricted space. I could either slow down or speed up.

To speed up seemed to be the brash young man move, a bit of a show off thing to do.

But I also didn’t want to go any slower and prolong my climb up the long ascent.

So I did the only thing that seemed reasonable to do.

I broke the silence.

Up until now, my presumption had been that he was a new walker to this route. Perhaps he had just had a poor medical and needed to lose weight or lower his blood pressure.

“It’s a good climb, eh?” I said.

“Depends on what you define as good,” was his answer.

“I’ve been walking this for a year,” I said, “and it is still a workout for me!”

I felt proud of the fact that I had been climbing these stairs for a whole year.

He paused for a second, maybe to catch his breath before speaking. It seemed like there was suddenly a bit of humour in his body language.

He glanced sideways at me, a small smile on his mouth.

“Twenty…twenty four years, I’ve been climbing these stairs every day,” he said.

“It doesn’t get any easier.”

Suddenly my perspective changed. Twenty four years? I was only 26.

For most of my life, this gentleman had been climbing the stairs I had been so proud of climbing for a whole year, just a few moments ago.

I suddenly saw him in a completely different light. I was curious to know more about him, but we had reached the top of the stairs by this time.

I stopped for a breath, and he kept on walking. I watched him walk for a few minutes, quick strides; practiced steps, following a very familiar path.

And then it occurred to me. The Christian walk is the same. It doesn’t really get easier, or become any less of a battle. We just keep on. Faithfully carrying the torch.

Sometimes as younger people it’s easy to feel like life is hard. We hope it gets easier as time goes on, but the gravity of the flesh still makes that daily climb a struggle; ten, fifteen – even twenty-four years down the road.

Faithfulness is the key. Gaining the perspective and insight from those who have been climbing that daily climb far longer than we have.

It’s just one step at a time.

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of cougars and focus

Recently I was out at my parents place, and heard how their two dogs had gone missing. The thought was that a cougar had taken them, since there has been higher than normal cougar sightings, and another farm over had actually caught and shot a cougar in the act of killing their dog.

These stories sent a chill up my spine as I ventured out in the dark to start my van. I moved more quickly than normal and glanced furtively about looking for any sign of danger.

It also made me worry about my two little brothers at home. It’s funny how knowing about a potential danger can awaken a deep sense of fear and awareness.

****************
Earlier in the day I had heard some disappointing news about people I know about. It hung over me like a cloud. It made me remember other friends, acquaintances, myself; and our human propensity to fall prey to another much greater predator. One much more dangerous than a cougar.

The events of the day and it’s reminders of the darkness we live in left me feeling heavy and discouraged.

But then an old song came to mind, and I began singing it in worship to the King.

When I look into Your holiness,
When I gaze into your loveliness,
When all things that surround become shadows in the light of You I worship You, I worship You…the reason I live, is to worship You,

As I sang to Him, the darkness did become just a shadow in His light. And I remembered that the reason I live is not to worry about people making mistakes, or saying hurtful things, or getting caught up in dangerous habits…no. The reason I lived was to worship Him, because He is able to take care of it all, and me, and my family.

What we focus on is what will shape our perspective. If we focus on the work that the enemy’s doing, our perspective will be down, and discouraged.

But if we focus on our Creator, our Redeemer – we will have a perspective that enables us to rise above and to be obedient, joyful, and content.

What are you focusing on?

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Now is Not

I could hear myself praying.

“God, please don’t let me ever do that again. I hate it when I do that.”

I could hear myself saying.

“I’m never going to do that again. I hate it when I do that.”

As is often the case, I was in the shower getting ready for work, when I overheard myself saying these things.

It seems like we’re always so interested in the future. We use phrases like “never again” and “forever” and “always.”

But I think that it’s today that we should be more focused on. Not tomorrow.

We don’t know how tomorrow will be.

Christ even said not to think about tomorrow. “Take no thought for tomorrow, for it will take care of the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

I realized that my attention and fixation with doing it right tomorrow and “never” messing up again was in fact the very thing that was keeping me from doing well today.

I’m pretty sure that this is what Christ meant when he said what he said. Today has enough trouble. We don’t need to borrow tomorrow’s trouble for today.

But if today we live for the moment; on the edge of eternity, with the perspective of putting all we are into the now – our future will be fuller, and our lives more complete.

It’s hard to live a full life all at once.

But taking it one moment at a time gives you the opportunity to fill each minute with meaning, to strive for obedience to Him now, and to create an intricate tapestry of beauty over the years you are given.

What are you living for? Today or tomorrow? A fantasy that is not here or the beautiful mess that is?

Today is what you have. It’s the small piece of canvas you’re given to create on, to show the glory of what you see in Him.

Focus on Him now, and on what you can do for others. So often when we think or worry about the future, it’s ourselves we are focusing on; and we are never happy when we focus on ourselves.

Go!

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small idols

It seems like Christian media (Facebook, Twitter, blog posts, etc) has been awash with the name of Tim Tebow for the last few months.

It’s not a new thing.

People tend to talk about the things they value, treasure, etc.

Mark Driscoll was a kind of fad for a while.

Anyone who is “cool,” looks good, and professes Christianity seems to garner a lot of attention from mainstream Christianity, regardless of what their actual personal convictions are, or whether or not their theology is accurate.

Now, that is not really the point of what I’m wanting to say.

It would be really easy for me to bash mainstream Christianity, and probably a lot of fun too. It would be easy for me to point out the human problems other people have, and then leave this article feeling one step up from everyone.

But that’s not what I want to do.

No.

The point of this article isn’t to bash Tim Tebow, Mark Driscoll (I like the guy), or anyone else.

It’s really simple, actually.

**********************
People are people. They may do great things, and they may inspire us to do great things.

But when our affections are taken over by another human being in the way that only God should hold them, we encroach on idol territory.

We live in a celebrity worshipping culture. It is so easy for us to put other men and women on the throne in our hearts. I am guilty of this action myself repeatedly. It’s so easy to do as a human.

But putting a human in a role that only God can fulfill will leave us empty and disappointed in the end.

Celebrity of any kind – “Christian” or not – is playing with idolatry. No human deserves the title, and no human is designed to sustain the pressure of being in this role.

It’s easy to let small idols creep in to our hearts. Whether they’re people, possessions, travel, or an ideal – nothing can fill the void that only God is able to.

What holds the throne in your heart?

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coffee save

The thought crossed my mind.

“The Power of Small.”

Too cliche.

Too overused.

Too Bill Hybels; Rick Warren-ish. Or maybe John Maxwell-ish.

Scrap it all. Maybe I’m cynical, but a lot of people who attend inspirational seminars, pep talks, and The Victorious Christian Life or Find Your Inner Buddha meditation sessions come away raving about how their life is going to be wildly different. Then, a few weeks later, they are disappointed to be doing exactly the same things that have gotten them to exactly where they currently are in their lives.

Maybe where you are is where you want to be. Maybe you’ve arrived.

I haven’t.

I went to a John Maxwell seminar. Yeah, I admit it. I came away pumped, but also feeling like I had imbibed a fridge-full of over-sweet Christmas candy.

Ok, I’ll stop there.

I’m not mud-slinging, name-calling, or calling down anyone.

I think Maxwell has done a good job of helping and motivating people to change. It’s not really his fault. He has a lot of good points.

So does Rick Warren. Maybe even Hybels?

It’s really our fault that we’re where we are.

They’re just taking advantage of our human weakness and making a buck off it.

(Ok, that was cynical.)

********

It all happened over Christmas.

A Starbucks tumbler.

More importantly – free coffee for a month.

Every morning so far this month I’ve been in there. Downtown Edmonton. Jasper Ave.

I watch the barista discount $2.15, and I walk away, free coffee in hand.

It got me thinking.

How much money would I spend in a year if I bought a Starbucks coffee every morning? How much money would I save if I didn’t get the coffee?

I did some calculations, and while it wasn’t a massive life changing sum, it was definitely a good chunk of change.

More than the painful amount that was debited from my account to fix my van earlier this week.

I rounded it up to $2.50. I got onto my online banking, and set up a recurring transfer.

Every day. $2.50. 

Small amount. Peanuts, really.

In one year, without interest, I would save $912.50. Two years? $1825.

Let’s try 5? $4562.50.

That’s enough money to take a really nice vacation to Hawaii. A nice trip to London, if you prefer.That’s enough money to buy a decent used car. That’s enough money to take a honeymoon. That’s almost a year’s limit for your Tax Free Savings Account!

Just $2.50 a day. It’s pretty easy to put in that much.

Just as easy as buying a “cheap” coffee from Starbucks.

But that little habit adds up.

Instead of waiting until I feel like saving, or until I am at a good place to save, or have enough money to start a savings account – I am saving now.

Doing something little each day to contribute to something big down the road.

Life is no different.

Getting to your goals is no different.

Becoming stronger in your faith, obtaining a degree, performing that piece, writing a book – it all starts with a daily commitment to do something small.

Going to a seminar once in a year and getting pumped might help get you thinking about your life long dreams and how you can achieve them, but too often, they focus you on the end; the big achievement, the culmination of years of hard work.

The victorious Christian life is not a total possibility on earth. While we are chained to this body, we are chained to the flesh. Perfection is not meant for now.

But the obedient Christian life is a lifestyle that is meant for now; small choices developed by habit over a lifetime, by daily choosing to do little things, to resist the urge to procrastinate, to put off that task one more evening.

While you have the time in front of you – use it! While you have the chance to do something – do it!

If you are thinking a detrimental thought; choose now to stop thinking it, and refocus your thinking. It’s not about overcoming the evil; that’s not our job.

But we can focus on the right things. We can take one step in that direction.

Write a paragraph. Read a chapter. Practice 20 minutes. Solve two problems on a bus ride.

It adds up.

Just like $2.50 a day.

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